Space To Breathe
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: After the events of 3x06 Emma needs some space to clear her head. She finds what she needs in an unexpected source. (SwanQueen)


_AN: Okay I was writing A Choice Your Heart Makes (I swear an update is coming soon - bear with me!) and then I was thinking about Ariel and so this one-shot emerged. I don't own the characters. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy :)_

_Summary: After the events of 3x06 Emma needs some space to clear her head. She finds what she needs in an unexpected source._

I sigh sitting down near the lake thankful for the moment of peace. Between Hook and Neal's confessions and my mother constantly harping on about how I can have my happy ending and true love I need some space.

Don't get me wrong, once upon a time I loved Neal, a small part of me always will but not because he's my happy ending. He gave me Henry and with time he'll be a good father but aside from that I don't believe he's it. He's not the one. He isn't the person I lie awake thinking of or who I dream of spending lazy afternoons with.

Then there's Hook. I knew it was a mistake as soon as it happened. I should have seen it coming, all the flirting to blow off some steam and then the stress of the day. It was almost like spontaneous combustion. I'd never have done it had I known how deep his feelings were. To me it was just a quick thanks, a brief moment but that was all, one moment.

I sigh again staring out into the water, no matter what happens when we get back to Storybrooke they'll want answers. I never set out to break anyone's heart yet here I am surrounded by people who love me and all I can do is hurt them.

My dad I know just wants me to be happy though I can tell he's not particularly thrilled about either Hook or Neal. God knows what he'll say when I tell him the truth. Tears cloud my vision as I think of his confession from earlier. There must be a way to get him off the island. Everywhere we turn there's another obstacle, another challenge.

As for Snow. I know we needed her confession but boy did I not need to hear that. It's one thing to admit feeling like an orphan but to hear that I'm not enough? That she wants a baby? Part of me understands it, she wants a kid to raise and look after and do all the things she missed with me but all I could think of when she said that was of that foster family I had when I was three. My heart aches from that feeling of being tossed aside. I know it's not the same but it still hurts so much.

Then she wouldn't even talk about it, instead she kept pushing on the Neal/Hook situation. Asking me who I would choose, telling me how Neal would understand my kiss with Hook, how he'd forgive me and how we could be together with Henry. I shake my head, she doesn't get it. She had a fairytale romance where hope and love was enough to carry them through. I didn't have that. I was abandoned by the one guy who I opened my heart up to, I sealed myself away from love to avoid that pain again but the he came back. His return just made me realise the truth – that I'd never gotten over it. By sealing myself off from hurt I bottled up the love as well. Even now I can feel the residual hum of love but it isn't the kind of happy-ever-afters, it's a nostalgic kind of love for the father of my child. Nothing more.

Eventually I snapped having had enough of my mother harping on about love and happy endings. I ignored her shout of "Emma!" needing to clear my head and be away from them all right now.

I should have just gone with Regina. I wonder if she came any closer to finding Henry today. I knew as soon as I saw her leave that I'd made the wrong decision.

"_Hey Henry" I say with a grin as I slide into the booth across from him. "Hey Emma" he replies cheerily. "Is she here?" I ask. _

_He nods, "Yeah she said if you're having fries you better have salad as well or she'll cook something with vegetables tonight" _

"_Urgh thanks for the warning kid" _

_She walks across the diner with a wave and a small smile twitching at soft full lips. She slides in next to me, "You're late" she says kissing me. I smile into the kiss letting her mouth caress my own, "Hm sorry" I apologise as I reluctantly pull away. _

"_You'll have to think of a way to make it up to me" she replies with a wink. _

"_Ew moms, I want to have lunch not see breakfast" Henry remarks wrinkling his nose. _

_I laugh putting an arm around her shoulders, "Sorry kid, blame your Mom for being absolutely gorgeous" _

"_Aw. You're beautiful too dear" she says with that lovely little smile again before giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek. _

"_And they complain about Grandma and Grandpa" Henry mutters shaking his head._

"_What was that kid?" _

"_Just saying, you moan about them being embarrassing but you're just as bad" _

"_We are not!" Regina defends hastily, red colouring her cheeks. _

"_We most definitely aren't. Kid our love is kickass" _

"_Really Ma?" _

"_We open portals and stop magic triggers." I say with a shrug. _

"_She's right Henry. Our love is awesome" Regina replies bumping her shoulder against mine. _

"_If you say so" _

_We both roll our eyes before she leans into me, "Let's just order shall we" _

"_I think I'll have the turkey club with side salad" I say subtly winking at Henry. _

_Regina looks at me in surprise, a perfectly sculpted eyebrow raising in suspicion as she looks between me and then at Henry, "He warned you" she says knowingly._

"_I have no idea what you're talking about" I say focusing my eyes on my menu. _

"_Henry?" Regina asks. _

"_I think Ruby wants me for something" he says sheepishly before fleeing the booth. _

"_Our son just gave you away dear" _

"_I'll eat the salad" I offer with a grin hoping it's enough to dissuade her from vegetables for dinner. _

_She smiles before kissing me again, "You're lucky I love you Emma Swan"_

"You're lucky I love you Emma Swan" those words have been ringing in my ears since my dream two nights ago. I sigh again remembering the way she's been looking at me. I don't think she even knows that I noticed. I certainly noticed the unbuttoned shirt. God has that been distracting.

Our magic lesson this morning was a disaster. I couldn't concentrate, my head still buzzing with thoughts about my indiscretion with Hook. Admittedly she wasn't exactly patient but then again I know why now. Her sass, her snappiness, all of it is coming from a place of fear, of not finding Henry or not being able to save him. It's just this morning I wasn't in the mood so I snapped, called her a monster.

A monster.

God why did I say that? Curse my stupid mouth. I don't believe that and as quick as it was I saw the hurt in her eyes. Those eyes, those beautiful dark chocolate eyes burning with emotion. I could lose myself in them. Instead I pushed her into leaving.

She left.

I didn't think she would. I really didn't. But no she left too. Everyone leaves. Or pushes me to do something. Snow pushed me to go find Neal and now Regina is god knows where. Then she wants another kid. Neal may have been alive but Henry's still gone.

The sea isn't calming me tonight like it usually does. I just wish I could clear my head. Maybe then I could figure out a way to sort everything out, to fix things, if they can be fixed.

I know I should get back to camp but once I do it all comes back. Neal. Hook. My parents. I can't deal with that right now.

"You look like you have a lot on your mind" my head snaps up at the familiar voice.

"You…you're here" I say in shock and awe.

"Yes Miss Swan. Was your little quest successful?" she asks dismissively. I roll my eyes at the tone before gesturing for her to sit on the stones next to me. She scowls slightly at the ground before lowering herself down, amazing how she can still look regal on a beach in the middle of nowhere.

"Neal's alive"

"Oh" she says, it's brief but I hear the tinge of sadness and the flash of despair in her eyes before the mask goes back up.

"You look happy about that" I say dryly.

"Well Henry will be pleased" she says politely, "And I suppose Snow will be too, now she can go back to preparing your fairytale wedding with the spawn of Rumplestiltskin" she adds bitterly.

"Well I wouldn't hold my breath on that one if I were you"

"Hm?"

"Snow may be all gung-ho on me being with Neal but"

"Oh of course your boyfriend Hook" she interrupts snippily.

I turn to her feeling the frustration simmering in my veins, "Will you cut it with that crap?!"

"Excuse me?!" she says, her voice low and dangerous.

I take a deep breath, "Look I have Hook and Neal declaring they love me, Snow yammering in my ear about how I can have my happy ending, I don't need you pushing me too"

She shuts her mouth before turning to the sea, "I'm sorry Emma" she says quietly, "I know what it's like to be pushed towards someone you don't want to be with"

"Snow's father" I say sadly, feeling the pain wash off of her.

Regina turns back to me, "Yes" she says and I'm amazed at how much bitter anger can be loaded into one room, "And Tinkerbell"

"What?"

"She told me she could find my soulmate and used pixie dust to guide me to some man in a bar. I didn't go to him. She says I ruined his life"

"How? Surely the king would have killed you both?" I ask, _complicated history_ she said, well that's one way to put it.

"Yes" Regina replies wringing her hands, "I made a choice and once again I was punished for it and deemed selfish. Trust me Emma when I tell you not to let anyone push you into something. It may cause pain in the end but not having a choice is much worse. Your mother may try to push you towards Neal but its' your decision, your life, don't let her dictate it" she keeps her eyes on the waves the whole time before turning to me with a serious expression, "Choose your happiness Emma not hers" she finishes with tears in her eyes before turning back to the sea and hurriedly wiping them away.

I sit back and let myself breathe. No-one else has given me what she has. I take a deep breath and finally feel the soothing nature of the waves calm me, looking back Regina's the only one who's given me space, let me deal with things how I want. She's let me lead and forced me to face up to that responsibility. Most of all she's given me a choice. That's all I wanted.

I move a little closer to her, "Regina thank you"

She smiles, a small tentative smile, a flicker of light in the darkness, "You're welcome"

I move slowly sliding my hand over to hers, "I'm sorry you didn't get that choice, I hope you have it one day"

She doesn't speak instead looking down at our hands, just barely overlapping, before back up at me. Our eyes meet, connecting for what feels like years, I can feel her eyes boring into mine and I stare deeply into her own astounded by everything I find there. I'm captivated by her mesmerising gaze, my eyes glance down quickly over her body, over that figure and poise, imagining what might be underneath, before they snap back up to meet searching rich brown orbs.

"Emma" she whispers cautiously.

"Regina I" I lose my words, I don't know what to say, instead I lift my thumb up to caress her cheek. She leans into my touch before sighing deeply, "You kissed Hook as a reaction to everything going on. This -" her voice breaks as she looks back up to me.

I know what she's afraid of, that I'm kissing out of fear or just to feel something quickly, that this will be a one-time thing I forget. This is different. I can feel it in my heart, with Hook it was a rush, desperation culminating in one regrettable moment. This feels like hope, like a moment that will be the start of something wonderful.

"Regina this isn't like that"

She looks up at me uncertainly. "Emma, I just don't want us to wake up tomorrow and you tell me this was a mistake"

I take her hand in my own and place it over my heart before pulling her close, our foreheads resting against each other, "Does this feel like a mistake?" I ask. She shakes her head, "Just promise me you're not doing this to get away from everything" she whispers. I'm close enough to see the tears building on delicate lashes.

"Regina" I reply wiping away the tear that dares to fall, "This is not a reaction to today. This is me choosing you"

"Everyone else"

"I don't care. We'll deal with them after."

"They won't be happy"

"Regina, you called it. It's my happiness, my choice remember? Well, you, me and Henry. That's what I want. I should have listened to you today Regina. I choose you"

She smiles and this time she leans in, her lips tentatively brushing over mine before I respond pressing my lips against her own. I gasp into her kiss feeling how our mouths fit together with ease. Sparks float around us as electricity shimmers through my veins. This is it. The sound of the sea becomes a distant hum and in this instant it doesn't matter where we are of what the backlash will be, right now all I care about is her lips on my own, the feel of her hair in my fingers, the sound of her moan as I graze her lips with my tongue.

I pull away reluctantly with a smile encircling her waist with my arms. I take a moment to catch my breath, to look into adoring caramel eyes, before I kiss her again, feeling the rush of passion and happiness flood through me once more.

When we eventually part I put my arm around her as we watch the sea. I kiss her on the top of head softly before releasing a contented sigh, finally able to breathe and enjoy the peace of the moment.

_Thanks for reading:)_


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